i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
