if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We talked him into tasing himself.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
