I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
