I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
