So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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