Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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