also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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