the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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