So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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