how do flat chested girls get laid?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize