well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
