Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
