yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
