mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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