The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I love having hate sex.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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