i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
