New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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