My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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