Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
