Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
