so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
