Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
