Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
