we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
