So drunk its hurt
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
