What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
