I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
