come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize