forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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