i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
