I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
