He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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