Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
