Soap is not a condiment
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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