names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
