Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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