Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
