We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
