Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
