it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Randomize
