Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
