...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
