she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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