y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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