They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
