I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Congratulations! We have a period
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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