I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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