Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
420 ftw
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
