But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
