thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
